Tuesday, 31 July 2007

Premiership Preview - Birmingham City and Blackburn Rovers

Birmingham City
Last Season: 2nd in Championship (Promoted)

Second time around for Steve Bruce in the Premiership, and is he better equipped to stay in it this time? While the experience of his previous campaigns in the top flight will stand him in good stead, his playing staff looks weaker this time.

Bruce no longer has the likes of Emile Heskey, Jermaine Pennant and Matthew Upson to call upon any more, while much of last year’s goalscoring burden was taken on by Nicklas Bendtner, who has now returned to Arsenal.

On the plus side, Cameron Jerome is an emerging talent, Gary McSheffrey will be eager to perform in the Premiership and new signings Daniel De Ridder and Olivier Kapo will add class. Hossam Ghaly will also add much needed experience, as will his Spurs mate Mido if he signs.

On paper, Bruce’s squad looks two or three players short of being able to compete at the same level as when they first got the Premiership and occupied the top half. If Mikael Forssell can rediscover the form he showed before his injuries, then he will of course be a bonus, but a season of struggle awaits.

Unlike the managers of the other promoted sides, Bruce has top flight experience. He was understandably stung by relegation in 2006, and will do everything possible to ensure he doesn’t go through it again.

He’ll have to adapt his team to take on the special demands of the Premiership. Fans will point to the unforgettable 5-1 FA Cup win at St. James’ Park last season as evidence that Blues can more than hold their own, but one swallow (or should that be one flood) doesn’t make a summer, and a long battle to avoid a swift return to the Championship looks likely.

Key Man: Radhi Jaidi. Moved from Bolton last summer and was a key player in City's promotion.
One to Watch: Fabrice Muamba. Thought of as yet another ‘new Vieira’ at Arsenal, he’ll hope to build on last season’s impressive loan spell at St. Andrews.
This Season: They’ll battle away with typical Brummie doggedness, and stand a good chance of staying up.

Blackburn Rovers
Last Season: 10th
Blackburn’s seasons seem to have mirrored each other over the past few years. A good cup run in one or more competitions, and a solid Premiership campaign culminating in a strong finish, a place in the top half of the table and European qualification. Are their fans happy with this? Probably.

At the time of writing, the only major additions to the Rovers squad this summer are the Paraguayan forward Roque Santa Cruz and the young Dutch striker Maceo Rigters. Bar them, they effectively go into the season with the same group of players as the last campaign. They of course did very well last year, and will be looking to maintain that level of performance.

A fully fit Robbie Savage adds bite to any midfield, and Mark Hughes will hope that he and Ryan Nelsen will be able to stay healthy throughout the campaign. A forward line of Benni McCarthy, Jason Roberts, Matt Derbyshire, Santa Cruz and Rigters looks like guaranteeing goals, although one seems likely to leave. David Bentley and Morten Gamst Pedersen are two of the league’s most creative midfielders.

This could be a watershed season for Hughes. Sir Alex Ferguson can’t go on forever, whatever he thinks, and many see the Welshman as his ideal replacement. Just as Steve McClaren’s run to the UEFA Cup Final seemed to persuade the England hierarchy that he was right for that job, perhaps a good European run could see the United board turn to Hughes.

As for the league, Blackburn’s home form will ensure that the word ‘relegation’ should never be uttered around Ewood Park, and expect them to once again make life difficult for each and every team they come up against. Their usual season beckons.

Key Man: Ryan Nelsen. Out for so long with injury last season, the New Zealander is a rock at the heart of the Rovers defence when fit.
One to Watch: Stephen Warnock. Impressed after joining from Liverpool last January, continuing that form could see him force his way into the England squad.
This Season: What you see is what you get. European qualification.

Monday, 30 July 2007

Premiership Preview - Arsenal & Aston Villa

Arsenal
Last Season: 4th
However difficult a job you think you have, spare a thought for Eduardo Da Silva. With the huge tag of ‘replacing the irreplaceable’ hung around the Brazilian-born Croatian’s neck, he heads into a new season with his new club with much to prove.


It’s never been a good pre-season when everyone is talking about who you’ve sold instead of who you’ve signed, and the departure of Thierry Henry has loomed large over the Gunners’ summer preparations. The additions of Da Silva and full back Bacary Sagna have hardly set pulses racing, and Arsenal fans’ faith in Arsene Wenger has been tested to the limit.

Arsenal have several great players, and the likes of Kolo Toure, Cesc Fabregas, Gilberto Silva and Robin van Persie, for so long in Henry’s shadow, will have to step up and perform if the Gunners are to have a successful campaign. But the signs aren’t good.

Gilberto, a hugely underrated midfield player, will have to stamp his authority on his young team-mates if the Gunners are to succeed this season. A campaign battling to stay in the Champions League places beckons, with fierce rivals Spurs breathing down their necks.

There is an overall uncertainty surrounding Arsenal, from the boardroom to the playing staff, and Wenger has added to that by making the strange decision to share the captaincy out amongst Gilberto, Toure and William Gallas.

They could surprise of course. Wenger has come up trumps so often in the past, achieving huge success in North London, but a sustained title challenge this time around could well be his greatest achievement yet.

Key Man: Gilberto Silva. One of the three in line to be given the armband after Henry’s departure, the Brazilian has the unenviable task of controlling Wenger’s youngsters.
One to watch: Nicklas Bendtner. Pulled up trees on loan at Birmingham last season, and could prove a useful goalscoring addition if he makes the step up in class.
This Season: Act now Arsene, or the wilderness of the UEFA Cup beckons.

Aston Villa
Last Season: 11th
As the American owners of Manchester United and Liverpool splash the cash all over the world, the one in charge of Aston Villa is content just to send money West Ham’s way.

The additions of Nigel Reo-Coker and Marlon Harewood haven’t hit the headlines, but they represent another tentative step in Randy Lerner and Martin O’Neill’s quiet revolution.

But the new duo are unlikely to dramatically improve Villa’s fortunes, and supporters are right to wonder why their club haven’t been competing for the signatures of some of the other players on the market this summer, not the mega-bucks stars of course, but surely Villa could have afforded the likes of Craig Bellamy, Yossi Benayoun and Freddie Ljungberg? All were available, and all would represent an improvement on their current players.

The squad at Villa Park represents a good blend of youth (Agbonlahor, Young, Reo-Coker) and experience (Carew, Berger, Mellberg) but does it have enough quality to seriously threaten the European places? Probably not.

O’Neill is still stamping his authority on the club, and is unlikely to achieve miracles this season. A good cup run is a possibility, and a long overdue one at that, but Villa will spend most of the season hovering between the top and bottom halves of the table.

Of all the foreign takeovers in the Premiership, Villa’s has undoubtedly been the least interesting, but when you’ve had Doug Ellis at the helm for years, perhaps that’s exactly what you want. In their current state, another not too exciting season beckons.

Key Man: Olof Mellberg. Villa’s rugged centre back is vital to their hopes of Europe, without him they have a soft centre.
One to watch: Luke Moore. On the fringes of the side for too long, this could be the season he really breaks through.
This Season: Mid-table mediocrity. Zzzzzzzzzz.

Friday, 27 July 2007

The Big Kick Off

"Football is the people's game. Football is a culture. Football is identity. Football is solidarity. Football is for all."

- Lennart Johansson

It's back! Read our exclusive guide to the Premiership season, starting Monday.

Tuesday, 24 July 2007

Guns Without Ammo?

I'm not going to suggest for one moment that the sale of Freddie Ljungberg to West Ham is a devastating blow to Arsenal. The Swede was a great servant to the Gunners but injuries have limited his impact in recent years, reducing him to just a squad player last season. But his sale is the latest in a list of high profile departures from North London.

Sol Campbell, Patrick Vieira, Dennis Bergkamp, Robert Pires, Ashley Cole, Thierry Henry and now Ljungberg. All cornerstones of that great undefeated team of 2003/04. All were symbols of Arsenal. All are now gone.

And of course, what could be more of a symbol of Arsenal than Highbury? One of the most unique grounds in the world, a stadium that had so much history, and not just on the pitch but in popular culture too. It is now a pile of rubble.

Of course players get older. It is understandable how some of those 'invincibles' mentioned above have moved on, but they simply haven't been replaced. If they are not soon, then the Gunners face falling further behind last year's top three and, horror of horrors, being overtaken by Spurs.

Off the pitch too, Arsenal appear to be reluctant to change their ways. Big money takeovers have become the norm. Chelsea started the trend and blazed a trail in the Premiership, Manchester United realised they needed to act and enjoyed deserved success last season, Liverpool have accepted the need for change and the signs are looking good for the Reds to finally enjoy a prolonged Premiership challenge this coming campaign.

Ironically, given their cosmopolitan line-up on the field, Arsenal appear to be very stiff upper lipped in their actions off it. Recent takeover rumours have been dismissed by the club out of hand. 'Foreign money' doesn't seem welcome. Should they rethink their actions? That may depend on how far adrift they are from the top of the table come Christmas.

In Kolo Toure, Gilberto Silva, Robin van Persie and Cesc Fabregas the Gunners have undeniable talent, and a genius of a manager in Arsene Wenger to control them. But with the loss of Henry, and the lack of big name replacements, Gunners fans are going into this season with less optimism than they've had for ages.

Like the student going on a gap year before university; Arsenal might need 12 months to 'find themselves.' They play in a stadium that they're still getting used to, with players who, Gilberto aside, lack obvious leadership.

Of course Wenger has a habit of proving people wrong. He might yet do so. If there's one man who can lead his current crop of players to success it's him.

But it just doesn't seem likely. Wenger has brought so many good things to English football. He needs his board to act quickly to insure his final act isn't a tragedy.

Wednesday, 18 July 2007

Power Play

Forget the moneymen, managers and fans, the people who hold all of the power in football today are those that play it.

'Player power' has never been more evident than in this hectic summer of transfers. We are now in an age where it is perfectly normal for players to jet halfway around the world to undertake a medical with a club without his current club even knowing about it.

How long do you think it took West Ham to work out that a player they own (although how much of him they own is up for debate) and, more importantly, pay an obscene amount of wages to, shouldn't be jetting into Manchester to undertake a medical when Manchester United haven't even agreed to pay them any money yet?

While one Argentine heads into Old Trafford, another heads out. Gabriel Heinze wants to join Liverpool, Rafa Benitez wants to sign him, but Sir Alex Ferguson is 'horrified' at the thought of losing the fans' favourite to the Reds. If, as reported, Heinze has a £6m buy out clause in his contract, there is little United can do if Liverpool offer that amount, however disturbed they are by it.

Sam Allardyce is preparing for the new season at Newcastle, but those preparations will be in tatters if a club offers £9m for Michael Owen or £13m for Obafemi Martins. Newcastle would have to accept the offers and the duo would be off quicker than you could say 'Wai ai man!'

Steve Sidwell refused to sign a new contract at Reading to ensure he could secure a move to the Chelsea substitutes bench (if he gets that far). In doing so he made sure that the club, a club that resurrected his career following his release from Arsenal, would not get a penny for his transfer.

Jose Antonio Reyes is sulking his way into a move to Real Madrid, blaming the British weather, food and just about everything else for his unhappiness. To be fair to him a life in Madrid does appeal, but living in London on about £50,000 a week? Seems like a decent life to me.

John Terry and Frank Lampard are squeezing every penny they can out of Chelsea before they sign new contracts. Both are in powerful positions with only two years left on their current deals. Both know that the club will do everything they can to keep them.

And of course the ultimate example of player power can be seen in one Englishman's move to Beckham FC, er sorry, LA Galaxy. David Beckham's move Stateside has been greeted with more fanfare than any football transfer ever. That is, of course, just how he wants it.

Beckham will receive a reported 40% of the money from every one of the Galaxy shirts sold with his name on the back, and lets be honest, a shirt with Abel Xavier's name on isn't quite as appealing now is it?

With over a quarter of a million Beckham shirts sold already, that represents another California mansion that Mrs B can prance around in.

Forget all the talk about 'no player is bigger than the club.' In today's market, it is the players who hold all the aces.

If it carries on like this, then they'll probably be after the rights to them as well.

Monday, 16 July 2007

Bravo Brazil

Brazil were available at around 3/1 to win last night's Copa America Final. When a Brazilian side is available at that price you can be sure of two things: that the bookies have underestimated them and that I haven't got a bet on them.

In actual fact those ludicrous odds were probably based on two things. The calibre of the opposition facing them, and the fact that this isn't the 'real' Brazil any more.

This Brazilian side is so different to those of yesteryear that they should probably play in a different colour kit. For so long we have marvelled over their wonderful silky skills and attacking play. Now though the side is modelled on its manager, the World Cup winning captain Dunga. He was a great defensive midfielder and it shows. His side sits deep and hits opponents on the counter attack, as we saw for their first and third goals.

Robinho aside, this is not a skilful team. It is based more on the raw power that Julio Baptista demonstrated in smashing his side in front in the fourth minute, and the energy encapsulated by Daniel Alves' lung bursting run and wonderful finish to make it 3-0.

In between of course, Roberto Ayala turned the ball into his own net for the second goal. It kind of summed up Argentina's night. Whatever they tried went wrong.

Argentina had swept all before them in the competition, notching 16 goals and playing such entertaining, attacking football that even Javier Mascherano was seen flying forward to score. Twice.

You may have read someone pretending to be me declaring that no one could stop the Argies, and that, in reality Brazil were a relatively poor side compared to previous vintages. Well, I can hold my hands up. That identical twin of mine has been fired and you'll only be reading my views from now on.

Carlos Tevez's performance in the Final was so awful it must have made Sir Alex Ferguson wonder if all the effort he's putting into signing him is worth it. Leo Messi seemed to be running around in circles. Juan Roman Riquelme was lost. Fine players all, but not last night.

Brazil's triumph was based around their work ethic, they wanted it more. Man for man, Argentina are a much better side, but the effort that Brazil put in made them worthy winners.

The irony is that it still might not be enough to please the Brazilian press. They have been scathing in their criticism of Dunga, claiming his tactics are too defensive and that he is stifling the team. Attacking talents like Ronaldinho and Kaka preferred a summer on the beach to one in his team, claiming they were too tired. Would they have played if Dunga's tactics weren't so negative?

It seems ludicrous, but Dunga's job is still on the line. He has proved he can build a team based on solidity and hard work, which some aspects of the press feel is not the Brazilian way. As we have seen with Fabio Capello's sacking at Real Madrid, it seems that how you win is just as important as winning itself these days.

We all like to see pretty football, but surely fans prefer winning football, in whatever form that takes. Some experts believe Real kissed goodbye to a couple more championships by sacking Capello. Are Brazil about to go down the same route to return to their old ways?

Wednesday, 11 July 2007

More trouble than he's worth?

Picture the scene. July 2008, and a stern faced David Gill emerges from Soho Square; clipboard in hand, hint of a tear in the eye.

"Obviously it's a blow to be relegated to the Salford Caravan Parks Division Nine, fined £500m and banned from signing any players for 10 years. Yes Wayne Rooney has joined Barcelona, Rio Ferdinand has gone to Chelsea and Cristiano Ronaldo has danced his way to Real Madrid for a combined total of, after agent's fees, £6.92. Sir Alex has done a runner, packing Carlos Queiroz in his suitcase, Ryan Giggs and Paul Scholes have retired, or gone to Bolton, same thing, and Gary Neville has moved to FC United, stating he wanted to play at a higher level. But we are confident that under our new management team of Paul Parker and David May we can mount a serious title challenge in the next 25 years.

"I have been in contact with the Glazers. The closest family member willing to talk to us was Hank Aaron Billy Bob Glazer, Malcolm's half-brother's cousin's illegitimate son, and he's told us he's willing to give us an eighth of the profits of his cotton picking farm, and we are sitting by the phone awaiting further news and the arrival of what he promises will be 'big bucks, y'all'."

Alright, perhaps this is a slight exaggeration of what could happen if Manchester United complete their protacted signing of Carlos Tevez, but are they going down a dangerous road in their pursuit of the Argentine?

If the Premier League had acted properly, West Ham would be a Championship club now because of their purchase of Tevez and compatriot Javier Mascherano eleven months ago. United will have to make sure that everything is above board in the deal or they risk the wrath of the FA.

The Old Trafford club seem to be basing most of their defence for the move on the fact that Liverpool were allowed to sign Mascherano in January, but they are overlooking a crucial factor in his transfer: West Ham didn't want him any more.
Of course West Ham don't want to lose Tevez. He practically single-handedly kept them up last season, a statement that's been used before, but surely without this much justification. Now in normal situations when a club doesn't want to sell a player, they don't sell him, simple as that. But this of course is no normal situation. Manchester United will reportedly pay Tevez's 'owner', the infamous Kia Joorabchian, around £6m to take Tevez on a two year loan. Where this leaves West Ham is anybody's guess.

The finer details of Mascherano's Liverpool deal are still unknown. He is six months into an 18-month loan deal with the Reds. When that runs out next summer, who do Liverpool pay if they want to make his move permanent, which they surely will?

Confusion reigns over to the two Argentines. Both are fine players and great additions to the Premiership. Mascherano is already a firm favourite on the Kop and Tevez will add even greater strength to Manchester United's already formidable forward line when he completes his move, which he surely will.

It's easy to think that West Ham are the big losers in all of this. Whatever money they eventually recieve for Tevez and Mascherano will be well down on the players' actual values. But the fact that they are somehow still in the Premiership, and splashing the new television cash accordingly (giving Craig Bellamy £75,000 a week is surely a licence to expect trouble) then they are unlikely to be too depressed.

So, West Ham win by still being in the Premiership. Manchester United and Liverpool win by recruiting two world class players. Joorabchain wins by pocketing a wad of cash. Bar Sheffield United, who loses?

If these sort of deals are to become the norm, then the losers could well be the Premier League.

Monday, 9 July 2007

You don't know what you've got 'til it's gone

"Playing the odd game here and there is not enough. Four or five years ago I was happy to have that role but not now."
And with that one of the best defenders in Europe turned his back on his national team. At 29, Jamie Carragher has decided to quit playing football for England, after an international career that's seen him shunted from pillar to post and asked to fill in whenever his country have a problem.

"Gary Neville can't play? Stick Jamie in there." "No Ashley Cole? Carra will do the job." "We need someone to play defensive midfield? Oh stick Carragher there, no will notice."

But if there was ever a problem at centre back, you could bet your life that the likes of Ledley King, Michael Dawson and even Wes Brown's claims would be heard louder than the Liverpool vice captain's.

A Champions League winners medal, indeed medals from every meaningful cup competition he's ever played in, would be conveniently overlooked just because, miracle of miracles, Jonathan Woodgate was fit again.

You can't really blame Carragher for his decision. It must feel like he's banging his head against a brick wall. People have made their minds up about him, he's the 'Scouse scally', the like of which shouldn't be in the England team. Heavens no, we can't have that.

The truth is, while that reputation may have been justified in his early career (we've all heard the stories) Carragher has now matured into the ultimate professional, the symbol of his club. Of all the amazing images from Istanbul 2005 the ultimate was the contorted face of Carragher, his body riddled with cramp, urging his team-mates to give every last drop of effort they had.

No-one was more disappointed after Athens, and no-one was more honest in his appraisal of the game. Liverpool had the chances to win and didn't take them. Milan took theirs with ruthless effiency. Hats off to them.

England fans write off Carragher as the utility man, the man who will plug a gap when needed, then respectfully bow out of the way when one of his more illustrious colleagues returns. He is so so much more.

Liverpool supporters won't be complaining. His decision could well prolong his club career by another year or two. He'll go on being the rock in the centre of the Reds defence for a few more years to come. Loved by his supporters but generally ignored by everyone else.

Carragher's 34 caps should have been at least doubled. His treatment by England means he's unlikely to miss wearing the Three Lions on his chest. Reds fans will be happy he's turned his back on his country. He deserves to be playing for a team where he's appreciated.

That team wasn't England. You can't help but feel that they'll regret it...

Tuesday, 3 July 2007

Freebie FC

On paper they look a pretty formidable side. There's the Champions League Final hero, a former Republic of Ireland captain, two of the Premiership's all-time leading goalscorers and a Dutch international who's played for some of the biggest clubs in the world. But this is no ordinary side, as all these players, some with glittering careers, are without a club for the 2007/08 season. This is Freebie FC.

Goalkeeper: Jerzy Dudek
Every football fan will remember Istanbul for as long as they live. Liverpool's astonishing fightback from 3-0 down was more suited to Hollywood than the Champions League Final, but the Reds wouldn't have won if it wasn't for two astonishing saves from their Polish goalkeeper, both from Andriy Shevchenko. The first defied logic, as the Ukrainian forward looked destined to smash home from a yard out late on in extra time. Somehow Dudek stuck out both hands and diverted the ball over the bar. The second, from Shevchenko's penalty in the shootout, won the trophy for the Reds.

Right Back: Alessandro Pistone
Never a firm favourite with fans of either Newcastle or Everton during his time at both clubs, nevertheless Pistone enjoyed prolonged runs in the first teams of both. A rugged, no-nonsense Italian defender, he was a regular in David Moyes' plans before an injury-hit 2006/07 saw him fail to kick a ball for the Blues. Now out of contract, he is likely to return to Italy.

Centre Back: Craig Moore
Graeme Souness signed the Australian for Newcastle, taking him from former club Rangers in the summer of 2005. An injury hit two seasons on Tyneside has seen him barely play a part in the Toon's annual struggle against medicrity. Did play a starring role in helping Australia through to the second round of the World Cup last year, but, along with Titus Bramble, became one of the first casualties of Sam Allardyce's rebuilding job this summer.

Centre Back: Kenny Cunningham
Helped his old Republic of Ireland team-mate Roy Keane achieve promotion to the Premiership last season, but despite some impressive performances, and the fact that he was a some-time captain of the side, has now parted company with the club. Could surely still do a good job for a Championship side but his next move remains to be seen, and he could retire.

Left Back: Olivier Bernard
A major attacking threat down the Newcastle left flank during Sir Bobby Robson's time at the club, things turned sour for Bernard after Robson was sacked. First he found himself farmed out to Southampton, where he got relegated. Then a move to Rangers followed, but he rarely featured in the first team, before a shock move back to St. James' Park last January to provide cover for Celestine Babayaro. He rarely featured, and now finds himself without a club with a move to France beckoning.

Right Midfield: Henrik Pedersen
A favourite of Sam Allardyce at Bolton, Pedersen proved a popular player due to his versitily. He played at right back, right midfield and upfront for the first team, and despite brief moments of impressive form, he never really convinced enough to warrant a prolonged run in the side. New boss Sammy Lee doesn't see a future for him at the club, and he may return to his native Denmark.

Centre Midfield: David Thompson
It seems as though everything has gone wrong for Thompson ever since Gerard Houllier booted him out of Liverpool for getting sent off in a reserve game. At the time he was enjoying a good first team career with the Reds and was on the fringes of the England squad, but moves to Coventry, Blackburn, Portsmouth and Bolton, as well as a succession of injuries followed. Still in his late twenties, but is anyone ready to take a punt on his services again?

Centre Midfield: Quinton Fortune
For so long Manchester United's utility man, capable of stepping into into several different positions when everybody else who could possibly play there was unavailable. He moved to Bolton last summer where, inevitably, injuries took their toll restricting his playing time. Little Sam sees no place for the South African in his new squad though, forcing him to look for a new club to go and be injured at.

Left Midfield: Boudewijn Zenden
Started the Champions League Final in Athens just six weeks ago, but now finds himself without a club. Rafa Benitez turned to Zenden to fill his problem left side position in the closing weeks of the season; the Dutchman playing in both legs of the Champions League semi final with former club Chelsea as well. Never overly popular with Reds fans, he's still proved himself as a useful squad player and shouldn't have many problems finding employment with Newcastle, Roma and PSV all reportedly interested.

Striker: Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink
Charlton fans booed Hasselbaink when he came on as substitute in their final game of the season at Anfield, a reflection of the lack of effort they felt he put in during his time at the club. Just days later, and he was released. A striker of proven Premiership pedigree thanks to his efforts with Leeds, Chelsea and Middlesbrough, the Dutchman now finds himself without a club. Will he stay in England? That remains to be seen, but the amount of goals he's struck on these shores will surely persuade someone to snap him up won't it?

Striker: Robbie Fowler
Surely the most surprising member of this side. Arguably the most natural goalscorer of his generation, Fowler was released by Liverpool this summer after his eighteen month reunion came to an end. He still showed old flashes of his brilliance in the last campaign, and at 32 has still got a couple of years at least left in him, so why no offers? The man himself is at a loss to explain and although many clubs, including the Old Firm, have been linked to Liverpool's fifth highest goalscorer of all time, he has yet to decide on his future. Surely a manager somewhere is willing to give him, and the other members of this team a chance. But despite Fowler's glowing reputation, it could be a nervous few weeks ahead for him and many others.

Monday, 2 July 2007

Handy Garcia

“The distance between insanity and genius is measured only by success.”

The words of legendary screenwriter Bruce Feirstein, who probably wasn’t talking about Luis Garcia when he said that, but he might as well have been.

The news that Liverpool are on the verge of snapping up Fernando Torres, undoubtedly one of the hottest striking talents in world football, has been tempered somewhat by the realisation that in order to make the move happen, the Reds will have to send Garcia the other way.

Atletico Madrid are getting a player who can be pull-your-hair-out frustrating one minute and leap-out-of-your-seat fantastic the next. He is the very definition of a ‘flair player.’ The number 10, the playmaker, the type of player who makes football so enjoyable.

Perhaps this description of Garcia as a fancy dan isn’t a fair one. His record of 30 goals in 121 games for Liverpool suggests a reliable goalscoring midfielder, one of the first names on the teamsheet, but of course with Garcia all isn’t what it seems.

He could lurch from the sublime to the ridiculous and back again in about 10 minutes, and often did. One moment he’d be lazily giving the ball away in the centre of the park, the next he’d be smashing in a 30 yard screamer.

He took time to settle into the English game, as all foreign imports do (and Torres will be no different). Alan Hansen famously declared that Garcia ‘set the world record for jumping out of the way’ in his first season in England, but the fact remains that Liverpool would still only have four European cups if it wasn’t for the little Spaniard.

Goals in both legs of the second round, a stunning volley against Juventus in the quarters and arguably the most important goal in Anfield history in the semi final against Chelsea (and it was a goal Jose, get over it) have ensured that his name will go down in Liverpool folklore. How Liverpool could have done with him in Athens.

While his best performances did come in Europe, he still scored important domestic goals like FA Cup semi-final winners and Merseyside derby strikes in front of the Kop. In short, he packed more into his three years at Anfield than some achieved in ten, and that is why Reds fans took him into their hearts.

But now the little matador sets sail back to his native Spain. You can understand the move. Garcia has a young son, the reason for all those thumb sucking celebrations, and perhaps him and his partner want to bring him up in their homeland.

Rafa Benitez will need to find a special talent to replace him. With the American money in place and the prospect of playing alongside talent like Gerrard, Alonso and Torres he undoubtedly will. But one thing’s for sure: Anfield, and the Premiership, will be a lot less fun without little Luis Garcia.